If there were an award for being a Jill of all trades, women would probably win. Notice I used Jill instead of jack? Why, because this is about women you see.
We are called professionals at multitasking, mothers, sisters, aunts, nans, ninjas, crazy, bitchy, stalkers, perfectionists and most of us have been accused of being fake. There is plenty of other things to be put on that list.
Ok, so multitasking… guys common, its really not that difficult to cook, talk on the phone, make another cup of tea because your first one went cold, either because you were distracted by the 1-4 children running around, screaming, pulling your clothes, getting into the fridge before dinner.
Husbands who usually spend this time sitting in front of the TV ignoring what is going on. Maybe call the kids over, set the table, or even offer to watch the cooking dinner while we settle the kids.
Multitasking is not hard, but it can get really stressful. We don’t want to complain about the situation because that would just cause more stress.
But we can become a ninja within that time, because billy decided it was a great idea to start climbing into the cupboard, because he cant wait for dinner, knocking down nans antique cookie jar, and we just so happen to see it from the corner of our eye, switch to ninja mode and perform a crazy, swift maneuver and save the cookie jar, and its contents from impending doom…
Don’t be surprised if by this point we are starting to get a little crazy, we have hung up on nan, the tone in our voice has changed, and billy is upset because he couldn’t complete his mission to eat before dinner. But you are just sitting on the couch watching TV still, we are not even sure if you know what is going on, by this point, we are just complaining to ourselves, we still don’t want to say anything because we don’t want you to think we are bitchy.
Oh… you just got a text, we may wander over to you at this moment, just to you know, see if your ok, do you need a drink, who the fuck just texted you… yeah we do that a lot of the time, and if you act suspicious, don’t be suprised if your computer contents has been picked apart or your phone was missing for the duration of time it took us to go to the bathroom, don’t forget, we are ninjas. A bathroom break is plenty of time for us to skim read over nearly all your text messages.
Did you seriously just leave your dirty socks in the bathroom? And why are they odd? And wet… oh my god, what is that smell? Ugh… most of us are secretly perfectionists, and some of us don’t really care, we will pick up those really gross, wet, smelly odd socks, wash them and place them in your sock draw, only to find them in the same place next washing day. We will try not to complain to much.
But don’t worry, we are only women, its not like we would ever consider using our crazy ninja skills on you… unless, you know… We find out that the text your just received was not from your best mate Travis, but was really from Trish down the road.